Life Is Hard Sometimes...

Emotional intelligence...

Have you ever heard of it? Are you able to identify an emotion that you may be experiencing? When someone asks you how you are feeling, do you have a standard phrase of "fine, ok, angry, mad, sad? Or, does your emotional vocabulary include some of the following words?

Joyful	Tenderness	Helpless	Defeated	Rageful
Cheerful	Sympathy	Powerless	Bored	Outraged
Content	Adoration	Dreading	Rejected	Hostile
Proud	Fondness	Distrusting	Disillusioned	Bitter
Satisfied	Receptive	Suspicious	Inferior	Hateful
Excited	Interested	Cautious	Confused	Scornful
Amused	Delighted	Disturbed	Grief-stricken	Spiteful
Elated	Shocked	Overwhelmed	Helpless	Vengeful
Enthusiastic	Exhilarated	Uncomfortable	Isolated	Disliked
Optimistic	Dismayed	Guilty	Numb	Resentful
Elated	Amazed	Hurt	Regretful	Trusting
Delighted	Confused	Lonely	Ambivalent	Alienated
Calm	Stunned	Melancholy	Exhausted	Bitter
Relaxed	Interested	Depressed	Insecure	Insulted
Relieved	Intrigued	Hopeless	Disgusted	Indifferent
Hopeful	Absorbed	Sad	Pity
Pleased	Curious	Guilty	Revulsion
Confident	Anticipating	Hurt	Contempt
Brave	Eager	Lonely	Weary
Comfortable	Hesitant	Regretful	Bored
Safe	Fearful	Depressed	Preoccupied
Happy	Anxious	Hopeless	Angry
Love	Worried	Sorrow	Jealous
Lust	Scared	Uncertain	Envious
Aroused	Insecure	Anguished	Annoyed
Tender	Rejected	Disappointed	Humiliated
Compassionate	Horrified	Self conscious	Irritated
Caring	Alarmed	Shamed	Aggravated
Infatuated	Shocked	Embarrassed	Restless
Concern	Panicked	Humiliated	Grumpy
Trust	Afraid	Disgraced	Awkward
Liking	Nervous	Uncomfortable	Exasperated
Attraction	Disoriented	Neglected	Frustrated

Part of "pur" emotional health is being able to identify different emotions. For years I was confused about emotions and feelings, still am at times. I used a very immature vocabulary when someone asked me, "How are you?" Nine times out of ten I would answer, "fine".

Well, I am not fine all the time. I have hard days when I feel defeated and down. I have learned to stop and breathe, put myself in time out/quiet time (same thing but one sounds a bit more on the positive note). I try to identify how I am feeling and possibly the cause of my emotion, I own it. I may not be able to change the situation, but I most definitely can change my reaction. I have the opportunity to stop and self talk through an emotion or get swept along in a wave of helpless reaction to my emotion. Comes down to controlling thoughts and behaviors. Sound easy. Not by a long shot.

This weekend was one of those times I wish I had a rewind button in my life, it would really have come in handy and saved some hurt and grief. Let me preface my story by saying, I am not feeling so well (my Mom is probably saying, "I told her to rest and take her herbs all week, this is her own fault."). Well, as I was saying, I am not feeling so well, and know that this is one of the pitfalls to negative thinking errors and a perfect storm. A secret, if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sick (HALTS), choose a different time to have a serious conversation. Well, long story short, I proceeded beyond the safety zone. Not one of my proudest moments. I let negative thinking and fear get to a point I that said hurtful things to someone close to me. I do not like losing control over my emotions. It makes me feel ugly and ashamed. Hurting someone else is such a disgraceful act in the eyes of God.

I cannot undo the past, but I can repent and ask for forgiveness from those I have offended and hurt. I am choosing to think before I let my temper speak for me in the future. I think the following quote from one of our beloved LDS Prophets, President Gordon B. Hinkley provided the following counsel:

Beautiful reminder full of hope and promise for us mere mortals who made a mess out of their weekend, week, month, year, or maybe life up to this point.

Have a good night, I am going to try and nurse my stuffy head and cough.

Thank you for being you.